Tips from the Jet Set: The Best Way to Spa

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I've been to a good number spas in my time; either for a day, a long weekend, or a single soporific treatment. I'd never, however, taken a proper spa holiday until recently, when my Monsieur and I spent eight days at Schloss Elmau in the Bavarian Alps. To be fair, Schloss Elmau is more than a mere spa hotel: It's a 5 star resort with skiing in winter, hiking in summer, and a cultural program of concerts and events all year long. But thanks to a nasty bout of bronchitis during our stay, my activity that week was limited to the spa. While Monsieur skied, I sat in the steam room. While Monsieur swam, I snoozed in the sauna. While Monsieur did stuff, I did nothing except turn up to my next Ayurvedic massage. And as fearful as I first was about being bored, I loved it. My week of doing nichts was such a deeply relaxing and restorative experience that I'd recommend it in a heartbeat. Here's what you need to know before you go...
1. CHOOSE WISELY
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Spa hotels vary greatly in terms of facilities, programs, and atmosphere, so before you do anything, think of what you're looking for from your spa stay and research accordingly. If rest and relaxation is your goal, look for spa hotels with quiet zones, meditation classes, and separate facilities for children (if they're allowed at all). If beauty treatments are important to you, find a spa that uses brands and techniques that address your specific needs. If weight-loss is your main objective, avoid spas which serve wine with meals, but if you want a pampering break with a bunch of friends, be careful not to spoil the party by choosing a spa that's dry.
2. BOOK 'EM, DANNO

Although some spa hotels throw in a few freebies during your stay, most treatments cost extra. As a result, you might only book a couple for fear of breaking the bank. My advice? Smash that little piggy and book as many treatments as your heart desires before you go; one per day at least. Provided you've made yourself aware of the spa's cancellation policy (usually 24 hours but always double check) it's better to decide what NOT to do once you're there than to find out that they can't fit you in during your stay.
3. TREAT YOURSELF
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When you're not being kneaded by a masterful masseuse you can always take matters into your own hands by packing a few treatments of your own. A hair masque is a must for lounging in a relaxation room and a good cuticle cream will work wonders when you're hanging out in the hammam. My favorites? Neutrogena Triple Moisture Hair Masque , Aveda Dry Remedy Moisturising Treatment Masque, and Sally Hansen's Cuticle Balm.
4. BE A FLIP-FLOPPER

There's something bizarrely soothing about being with a bunch of strangers all wearing the same bathrobes. Normally provided by the hotel, this terrycloth uniform helps keep the outside world from creeping in to the spa's sanctuary and is a custom respected by the most seasoned guests. Wearers of their own robes look jarringly out of place. Wearers of their own flip-flops, on the other hand, look savvy: Spa slippers are rarely the right size, so in an environment where comfort is key, bringing your own beach thongs is a great idea.
5. LEAVE YOUR INHIBITIONS AT THE SAUNA DOOR

If you venture to a European spa (which I strongly recommend: Germans and Austrians take their spa-time seriously and the French view thalasso as a way of life), be prepared to see lots of skin, male and female, often in the same steamy facility. The atmosphere is meant to be natural, not sexual, and the shock of the nude will eventually wear off. With an accepting attitude and skilfully placed towel, you might even dare to go bare yourself!

I Survived a Weekend at Canyon Ranch

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Swap cocktails for detoxifying drinks, lounging on the beach for workouts, and shopping for herbal purification treatments? I wasn't sure what to expect from the Detox Mini-Break at Miami's Canyon Ranch, but at the outset, it didn't exactly sound like a vacation. But I dove in after a particularly indulgent trip to Tuscany for the hotel's signature brand of luxurious-meets-dead-serious detoxification. And I survived to tell the tale.
WHIPPED AIR FOR BREAKFAST?

Let's start with the menu. Arriving late afternoon I installed myself at one of the four pools and perused the snack options at the cabana. Each dish was followed by a mysterious string of letters and numbers. Checking the key, I decoded the nutritional details. Dining tables came with pepper—but no salt. And forget your daily Diet Coke—think hibiscus tea, coconut water, and fresh lemonade.
But I quickly learned it wasn't all whipped air for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. After a few meals I felt like I was in the non-fat yogurt Seinfeld episode. Presented with a mouthwatering dinner, I wondered how a juicy steak with truffles, kale, and boniato could clock in below 450 calories? I voiced my suspicion to the nutritionist. Turns out I'm not the only one to doubt the numbers. But they're not making this stuff up: dishes go to a lab for analysis. That fact alone made me instantly annoyed at all the non-Canyon Ranch chefs who rely on silly things like salt to pump up their dishes. I was drinking the organic, fresh, spa-healthy Kool-Aid.
I walked away from dinner feeling satisfied and healthy, not weighed down or ultra-full. Or tipsy, for that matter. Though this location serves (organic) alcohol (the Tucson flagship doesn't—though you'll find booming wine sales at the nearest convenient store) I took the detox to heart. It felt strange not skipping cocktails as I chatted with my friends over dinner, but I liked the satisfaction of falling asleep clear-headed.
CULINARY CONFESSIONS

I fessed up to my usual ways though, at consultations with the medical director and nutritionist. I expected horror when I described how my work as a food writer leads me to eat. There's just no way to make drinking bourbon from breakfast till bedtime or eating a dozen slices of pizza in one go in Naples sound reasonable. And though I had to flinch now and then at my own past indulgences, I came away with a list of recommendations and pretty sincere intentions to clean up my diet. Happily, I also got affirmation that going off the rails now and then on an assignment won't sabotage my efforts.
THE REAL GOODIES

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Between the eating and talking about eating was the real fun: a lineup of fitness classes to OD on (boxing and rock climbing and spinning, oh my!) as well as spa treatments galore.
A 140-minute Ayurvedic herbal purification found me in a futuristic, hot, steamy pod called a time capsule, wrapped in herbs and seaweed following an Indian style massage. The next-day, adetoxifying body wrap that included a session in the cocoon-like dry flotation bed left my skin so soft I couldn't stop touching it. The aim was to flush toxins out of my system, aided by the twice daily super-food juices I drank. Kale, beets, pomegranate, and ginger starred in the morning drink, with lemongrass, ginger, and yuzu in the pm. It left me feeling more delicious than it sounds.
My friends and I left full of plans to keep our squeaky clean systems fresh (my husband already had a grocery list from me). I know the real world may have other ideas (like bourbon and pizza), but if I stray too far off the path again, I know where to go—on vacation.

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